OUR RELATIONSHIP TO OURSELVES

Perhaps the most important relationship in your life, is the relationship you have with yourself. We’ve heard time and again, that if we don’t care for and love ourselves, how can we give to love others? If we lack self-awareness, self-belief, or even suffer from low self-esteem, what impact does this have on us and consequently our outlook on life, and relationship with others?

A healthy relationship with yourself involves self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-care. These aspects of a relationship with yourself will influence your mental and emotional health, and how we relate to others.

When you’re in a happy and fulfilling relationship with yourself, you’re aware of your strengths and limitations. You recognise and value all that you have to offer, and you take care of your mental, physical, social and spiritual health.

3 TIPS

1: YOUR INNER DIALOGUE

How do you talk to yourself? 

Many of us have a harsh and critical inner voice, which tells us that we are no good, or not to take risks and to stay in our comfort zones. This inner voice or dialogue can be hugely detrimental in developing a healthy relationship with yourself.

We can nurture a healthy inner dialogue by noticing our thought patterns, and being self-reflective. Perhaps you achieved a work goal, and your manager appreciates it so much, but you focused on the one thing that went wrong. Instead of being too hard on yourself, maybe you can say to yourself, “Well, next time I’ll make sure that I go over that, but otherwise, it was a great piece of work.” Notice the subtle change here. You’re aware of a mistake, but focused on the overall picture, which is that your work was good, but that there are areas to improve on (and there always will be).

You may want to practice gratitude, noticing all the good things you have in your life. All too often we overlook what is right in front of us. One tip, which you may find useful, is to write down 5 things you are grateful for, everyday. Save them up, and look over them on a Sunday evening, just to remind yourself that you have a good (not perfect) life. It’s a great way to start the week.

2: WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS AND OPPORTUNITIES?

Each and everyone of us is unique, with wonderful strengths and skills, which can be identified and honed to your benefit. But if you find it challenging to identify those strengths, it may be helpful to work with a life coach, or mentor. They can work with you to help you recognise your strengths, which could be anything ranging from writing, to cooking skills, and then help you better understand how you can use those strengths and skills to your advantage to excel in life.

2: SPENDING TIME ALONE

We live in a society, which places an emphasis on going out, and having a goof time, which is fine. But let’s not forget your Self needs time out to process the stresses and strains of modern life, otherwise your mental health can suffer.

You may find it helpful to take some time out to:-

- Identify your core values

- Discover your likes and dislikes

- Understand the challenges you face

- Heal unresolved trauma

- Define your life goals

And taking time out will mean different things to different people. So, if you like going for a walk in a park, or you enjoy a nice coffee, find your niche and cherish those moments you have to yourself.

3: ENGAGE IN SELF-CARE

Caring for yourself means you can

- Eat a healthy diet

- Go for a walk

- Sleep and wake up at the same times everyday

- Not checking your phone as soon as you wake up

- Develop a new skill or hobby

- Spend time with loved ones

- Journal

- Meditate

- Seek professional help from a life coach or mentor. 

If you are struggling with issues around identity (who you are and your place in the world), and you feel that you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself, it may be time to seek professional help. A skilled professional like myself, can help you identify your strengths, opportunities, and help you develop coping skills to overcome the obstacles you are currently facing. You are not alone, help is hand.

If you found this blog helpful, please feel free to register on my website for an initial consultation.

I look forward to hearing from you.